Dear Doc Lovelace,
My boyfriend spends too much time with his friends!
Recently, a stupid friend of my boyfriend’s told him that he’s changed since we started dating (we began dating a little over a year ago) and that I told my boyfriend that he’s not allowed to hang out with him or their other stupid mutual friends! That’s the furthest thing from the truth!!!
My boyfriend and his “friends” see each other at least every month or so, and when they get together to play their dumb games or whatever they do, I let him hang out with them until late into the night, and when he comes back and has an idiotic look on his face, I never say anything.
How can I show my boyfriend that his friends are losers and that he shouldn’t hang out with them? His friend, who told him that I banned them from hanging out, is so off on this that I had a headache for three days. How do I get my boyfriend to stop talking to him and get them not to be friends anymore?
Hi there, Ms. Me. Me. Me.,
I don’t think you’re barking up the right tree. Your question is, how can you show your boyfriend that his friends are losers.
The question should be, why would you like a guy that picks losers for friends? Here’s another ponderance for you, what are you doing or not doing that has your boyfriend (the one with the idiotic looks) preferring to hang out with losers instead of hanging out with you? Sounds like you picked the wrong guy, plus, you’re not enticing enough anyway. You’ve got a year in this mess, don’t throw away another minute, dump him and do it now.
Calling his friends names (stupid, dumb, losers) isn’t going to get you anywhere. I can imagine the names they have for you and your boy would still rather hang with them.
Let’s just say there was a magical tantrum that you could throw that would make him dump his cronies, what kind of a friend would that be?
Dropping his friends just because there’s a new person in the picture. You should want a guy that is minimally a good friend.
Know one thing for sure, you are not some kind of wizard that can change someone, pick a guy that you like just the way he is. If a guy acts like he can be reprogrammed, run for the hills, nothing but trouble ahead.
One last thing to think about before you scoop up the “next catch.” Find a guy that has friends and family that you enjoy and respect.
Remember if you lie down with dogs you get fleas.