Question:
I’m in my late 30s and I want to get married and have kids, but I keep running into an issue where I’m not only a guy’s second choice, in some cases, I’m a third pick. I’ve never totally felt comfortable in my own skin, and I never thought I was particularly hot even when I looked better and was thinner than I am now. Being a second option is one thing, but being on the bottom of the totem pole doesn’t feel good, and I keep wasting my time liking guys that will go with other girls over me if they get the chance.
How can I move up from being at the bottom of the totem pole to at least the middle option?
-Jenny
Dear Jinxed Jenny,
Take a deep breath and soak this in.
1. As long as you say “I keep running into the same issue” you will do just that.
Get this crazy notion out of your thoughts!! Just because it has happened doesn’t mean it will happen.
2. If you are not the one and only, don’t waste another minute considering where you are in the line up. Even a conversation about it with him sounds so “needy”, and needy is a no no!
3. Hot isn’t a requirement, but if you don’t feel great about yourself, change it up!! Do it NOW! It’s not rocket science, exercise, eat a healthy diet, get outside in the sunshine, take up hobbies where you can meet like mindeds. Think: hiking club, gym classes, dance lessons… Energize! Be positive!
4 If you focus on the positive, what you are seeking will seek you. What you focus on is the magic trick. As it is you are focusing on “being less than”, so that’s what you get. Fix this thinking problem!!!
And finally it’s never about positioning on a totem pole, if you are wanting a life partner, there is no settling for something as miserable as the “middle” of the pack. Not even second place willever work. The ONLY option is a man that wants only you. Take my advice or live foreverregretting the worst decision ever, and forever paying the price.
Get your act together! Smile and they will smile back.
I know you can do it!
Good luck!
Doc Lovelace
