Weird & Wacky News (30th Edition)

From around the corner, down the street, and up your alley, here are some stories that hitting the headlines… and they’re all TRUE!!

Dateline: Coventry, England

Here, kitty, kitty! Like a DCU villain, someone dubbed the Cat Shaver is catching cats and shaving a square into their fur! Bonnie Towe noticed this when her daughter picked her cat up. “Did someone take her and bring her back…or did they do it in a car?” Towe wondered. Other victims’ owners have discovered one another on Facebook, speculating that their cats are being marked as targets. No other harm has come to any of them. Hmmm, I wonder if Catwoman is behind this!

Dateline: Doral, Florida

Gotta catch ‘em all. Erik Torres is facing charges after he brought his Pomeranian to a Miami Heat game. Why? Because he dyed it to look like the cartoon character Pikachu! “It made NBA history because nobody’s ever seen a Pikachu dog sitting next to an NBA player before,” Torres said. But Miami-Dade County Animal Services officials were not amused: “No animal should be dyed, regardless of whether there’s an ordinance prohibiting that.” Torres has no plans to remove the dye. Ash Ketchum was unavailable for comment.

Dateline: Kiev, Ukraine

Talk about your heartburn! A surgeon removed an unexploded grenade from the chest cavity of a 28-year-old Ukrainian soldier. Before you ask, they have no idea how it got there in the first place! The weapon lay just below the man’s heart, and two soldiers were on hand during the delicate operation to neutralize the device after it was removed. “I think this case will go down in medical textbooks,” said Anton Gerashchenko, Ukraine’s internal affairs ministerial adviser. The soldier will now undergo rehabilitation… with a ton of Rolaids.