I Read It On The Internet

Weird & Wacky News (13th Edition)

From around the corner, down the street, and up your alley, here are some stories hitting the headlines… and they’re all TRUE!!

Dateline: Toronto, Canada

Does Office Depot Know About This?

Fast food restaurant, Good Fortune Burger has renamed some of its menu items as office supplies as a not-so-underhanded way to help customers get reimbursed for lunch! Clever idea! For example, their Fortune Burger is now the Basic Steel Stapler, and their Parmesan Fries are now a CPU Wireless Mouse. I wonder what the ketchup and mustard are called?

Dateline: Delray Beach, Florida

What is it About Florida?

A naked woman was found trapped in a storm drain eight feet below street level. Responders pulled her to safety and took her to a hospital where investigators were told she had been reported missing by her boyfriend three weeks earlier. The woman said she had been swimming in a canal when she swam into a tunnel, became lost, wandering around for weeks in the tunnel system, and survived on a bottle of ginger ale she found. Police are skeptical of her story, oh, ya think?

Dateline: South Africa

Well, That’s One Solution

While waiting in line at a Pick ‘n’ Pay supermarket, an unnamed woman NOT wearing a mask was confronted by a store guard who demanded she put one on (as per their Covid-19 protocols) or be thrown out of the store. Thinking quickly, the woman reached up under her dress, pulling out her underwear – a black thong – and placed it on her face! The others in the store had mixed reactions, to say the least.

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Chris Carnicelli

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